Behind the song - magic

Magic is an everyday thing for me. I like to tell when I'm on stage that I wrote this song when I couldn't walk. And it's 100 percent true. In 2018, after 3 years with a very unstable right knee, I was finally able to have surgery. But because of the level of damage that had accumulated, I had to stop putting any weight on my right knee for 2 months. Obviously I lost definition and thigh in my legs but I also lost my independence. The same independence that I thought she needed to survive. She couldn't cook, clean, drive, dance, be stable on stage, she couldn't be Blue. She was broken and dead on the bed or couch so she could rest and heal. I have never been a good sleeper but in the year after my surgery I was pretty bad. In those first few months I would talk to my friends late at night until dawn. My good friends who also suffer with sleep. One particular night I asked my friend Brett “Do you believe in magic? In impossible things? I'm not trying to scare you, I just want to know." We talked about it until I finally found my dream. The next day with the words still in my head I kept writing. After a while I crawled over to the piano and started playing the opening tunes. My poor partner Kyle had to bank me for hours and hours with that song. I cried. I got angry. And finally I gave in to gratitude. I raised my head and leaned on the people who were helping me to return to my being. They took me everywhere, cooked, cleaned, they sat with me and had the patience to supervise me as I approached a version of Azul stronger than ever. Someone stronger because she allowed others to help her, to get closer, and to recognize the trust of others in her. I also started sharing what was behind my waterproof mask that I had before my surgery. That behind the appearance, he was barely holding on even though it seemed like everything was fine. Sharing what was behind the mask I was able to connect more with friends, strangers, and with love. Since I wrote Magia “Magic,” I don't feel so alone. And it's a decision I have to make every day. A decision to trust myself and the people around me. Because we all know what it's like to suffer and still try to survive. Because we all know loss and grief and the pressure of life to always produce. I wanted to share Magic as my first music single because I had to share it. I need to believe in more. And I need you to believe in more too. 
On January 29th, I hope you will listen and if you can, start to believe in magic again.